cheating

how can cheating be so hurtful? how is it that when your beloved one cheats on you you feel so empty and betrayed? what is love turning all of us into?  the act of cheating reffers mostly to having sex with someone other than your lover. but sometimes, it is also an expression for gealousy. you don`t really reffer to sex, but you think of another person for your lover. someone that could make him happy. maybe happier than you could make him. you kind of panic. and that is the proof that feeling scared usually makes you do stupid and irrational thing. so i`m thinking: is gealosy the reason for the other one to feel safe cheating? how do you feel when your lover sais he`s working late and you know he`s not, when he pretends to be in a place and he`s not? and you know that because you`ve been there. the moment you walk out that place where he was supposed to be, you keep asking yourself so many questions, you can`t even follow them in your head. everything is suddently so scary. and you can`t call your lover to come hold you, you try to smile but you are faking. you never thought he was the cheating type. but you can never know. i always said a man cheats if his woman couldn`t make him desire only her. but sometimes, women do make mistakes. they tend to freak out once in a while. at least that`s what i do. but i want to fix this, because i am not the only one in this position and i want to be able to write about not having any worries in the world. i want to think of cheating as something people do when not in love. and therefore, it couldn`t be called cheating. it`s not like i`ve been always faithfull, but not when i was in love. if you really love somone, you are not able to cheat. believe me, i`ve tried. i`ve tried to cheat so many times, and i couldn`t. i couldn`t even when i should have. [i can`t get a conclusion from this post]