Startovers

Yesterday I got to thinking about startovers. What actually is a start over? People call it a new beginning, a new way of starting your life usually after something has happened that influenced your living in a way. So what happens to the past? Is our life like a written diary? And if so, can we rip the pages and erase the past?

I believe in starting your life again, but I don’t believe in changing who you are. People never change. Even though a part of them changes, it can be the looks of the spirit, but deep down you are and always be who you’ve ever been. People can start doing different things, can change their lifestyle, their friends and habits, people can detoxify, but what I mean is that you can’t become a whole different person over night.

We are tied down to so many things we don’t even realize.

I personally thought I’m not tied to anything until so little time ago. I had this plan of going to UCU and everything seemed so right until all this thoughts came through my mind some night while I was talking to S. and then I realized it all made sense. All that L. said about us starting that dancing club together and me staying in the city for the next couple of years. That’s practically starting a life together. I don’t know what I want to do. I want to study law so much, but also dancing has always meant so much for me. Now I feel like it’s all falling apart…

I wish I could stick to my decisions, but most of the times I change my mind. Not in all matters, but in some I do. And I just want to be sure I’m making the right ones once in a while. But then, can you ever know you made the right decision? Everything is considered to be right, until proven wrong. But then again, how can you always tell the difference between right and wrong? And most important: do you always have to do what’s right?