wrong approach

I have done a lot of bad things in my life. I’ve cheated, I've lied, I’ve made a fool out of myself and others, but not until now have I realized that’s the only way to be remembered in a way. I’ve always lived with the impression that I have to do something to change our living world, and I always thought of that "something" to be a nice gesture, something that’s good and inspiring for the human kind. But now it all makes sense. There aren’t a lot of positive grand gestures in history. I mean everybody knows about the two WWs, the holocaust, the nuclear explosions and the latest theaters are the pollution and global warming. How many people know about peace agreements and that in each and every one of them there are articles regarding children’s education and that usually those are never fulfilled? How many people know about the critical situation in Africa where children die of pneumonia - which I had had three times -, filthy water, or even worse - hunger? Can you imagine how it feels to actually die because of starvation? To die tortured because your body is too weak to even try and survive? Well, this happens to children that haven’t even turned 6 yet. When you see or hear about something like that it makes you question God and how can he allow all this suffering in the world. At least, that’s how it made me feel some time ago. Now, I just think it’s not his job to save them from above, but ours to do it from right here. This doesn’t mean I don’t question him harshly about lots of things, but one thing he’s done rightly is the PR. we all know about what’s happening around us. No one can say he’s never heard of such poverty and sickness, but why do we do nothing? How selfish can anyone be not to care about anything but his own well being? I’ve heard lots of people saying "we have to deal with the children in our area first, but god damn it, who helps the far away ones? I don’t know why I’m so close tight to God tonight, but now I’m beginning to understand his idea of Noe and his arch. Only now there are people to be saved or drowned. But then again, who is really entitled to do the choosing? Are we ever gonna change the world by many small gestures that belong to many many men? Or do we need a power from above to drawn us all and start over?