desire

it`s the same always undecided me, the girl that only wants what she can`t get and if she gets something she might have wanted, she`s suddenly not interested anymore. 

yesterday i had something new in my life. something i used to skip every time. i had a very good time, but something wasn`t right. maybe because i wasn`t familiar with this kind of things, or maybe i just made the wrong decision. i really don`t think so, but lately i am not sure about anything. every time things worked out faster and we got what we wanted like instantly. then it was all forgotten. so this now, is usually the time when i back off because i get scared of my choices. this is the time i feel weak and vulnerable and i need someone to help me make the right decision. i get scared of routine and boringness.  i need the strong arms to push me to a wall and show me this is the right thing to do. it`s not only the cheesy conversation and the funny stuff that make me chose. i am also looking for "the look" and the attraction. it`s like buying a box of chocolates. you like them cuz they`re chocolates and cuz they have pretty wrappings, but what if you don`t like the taste? or the other way around. you  like the taste, but they have wrappings that don`t make you feel desire. this is what i`m looking for, cuz i don`t believe in love at first sight. it only happened once, and that was my all. if i could get that now, would it make me go back to that feelings?