Essay in support of application, IE Business School

Every day I play a game of fortuity.

I live in a house I call my home, but veritably: home is a concept inherent in my presence. I belong nowhere.

I work where I can to ensure I float above the surface of the sea. I live modestly, but I seek greatness; oysters are a luxury, but so is freedom to me.

I like to fill my days with art. I read all sorts of things, from love poems to Russian biographies, and cricket compendiums. It seems gruesome to me that my augmentation of knowledge be limited by facets imposed by my professional pursuit. I paint to express ephemeral emotions, and I write to modulate conclusions from acerbic matters.

I am riveted by aspects of international law and I dedicate myself to it. No matter what flaws the international infrastructure may have at the present moment, they can only be curtailed by paramount concepts of law and by humanity itself, for hope lies always in the future. 

Leaving my parents' house in Romania at the age of eighteen was not a great risk; it was an adventure in all of its essence. The past five years in The Hague have thrust me into an array of situations, and consequently, although condensed time wise: I have tasted triumph and I have cried loss; I touched joy and I have sank in despair; I have crawled in poverty and bathed in wealth. I am ready to leave.

However, an activity which nurtures my personal development is running; and this activity started in The Hague. 

I do not run for the physical benefits of it, running gives me clarity of mind. When I lace up my shoes in the morning and set off on the cold pavement, I depart with a problem. Step by step, foot after foot, I forget about my surroundings and I run with the problem. I do not run away 

from it, nor do I run towards it; we run together. 

And in this isolated stretch of solitude I surrender myself to reality. I evaluate the many aspects of this problem in contradistinction to what I have conceived to be my values as well as what I seek to accomplish in my appetite for elation. At times, it becomes overwhelming; so I run faster. I endure physical pain over misery induced by my problem; I run to breakpoint.  It is only when I have stripped myself of fear and pain, that I can delineate my next step. 

I seek balance in an unbalanced lifestyle, where the hunger for joy could only be nourished by a leap in the dark. 

A letter to my beloved,

I will never find the right words to narrate this story to you, in a manner which can even slightly come close to dignify its essence. I took a great risk when I quit my job last year.

Working full time in the restaurant, I was finally walking on a solid foundation. In my first year of living in The Hague I struggled financially a great deal. But I desperately wanted this education, so I bore my hardship; I had imposed upon myself that it will all be worth it in the end. 

Between work and university however, there was hardly any time left for anything but sleep. And in the life of a law student, sleep represents elysium. When having established a lifestyle where I can balance these two in a way where not only did I cope, but progressively excelled in both, I decided to take on more responsibility for financial gain. My view was that, fastened in this situation until graduation, I may very well make the most of it and earn a steady income.

Thus by late last year, I had finally established income security. I enjoyed the privilege of affording to travel slightly, go out for meals sometimes, and spoil my parents at significant times, because in Romania they are perpetually struggling. Every day was the same: filled with endeavours, yet empty in its essence. 

Progressively, I sacrificed my personal unfolding as a human being for income prosperity in a path of academic pursuit. I am not wistful; I did what I had to do to survive when times were tough. And after that, I exhausted my situation for the better.

But, the past five years have passed by in an instant. One night after my shift, we sat on that bench and talked until dawn. I opened my eyes for the very first time: in a patterned lifestyle, I was functioning mechanically as if I was wearing a pair of blinkers. I had no interests, no hobbies, and no skills outside the realm of these two spheres I had immersed myself in.

I went home and wrote to you that morning; an amalgam of emotions rushed in an email I never sent. An email that vanished subsequently, together with my drive to thrive. But you sparked something irrefutable. I couldn't sleep for weeks, my brain was searching for a solution, but there was none; I was financially dependent, and paralyzed by fear of failure. Until one day. 

When I handed in my notice, on 17 November, I feared I would find myself the same place I was five years ago. I did not envision that it would result in the greatest endowment of all: time.

I have allowed myself the time I needed to finish my LL.B. dissertation; a piece which persuasively challenged the current framework of international criminal law in anticipation of future challenges imminently emerging, and my masterpiece. 

Also, I made time to feed my curiosity and shape what my interests are.

Doubtlessly, I'd like you to know that it was you who encouraged me to take this risk, and you who inspired me to be. 

Our encounters enthralled me with each occasion. We spoke about everything for hours, in what seemed endless nights. Slowly, you became a pillar to my foundation so I can effectively terminate an employment which dictated my way of living. And subsequently in this pillar, you have continued to challenge my foundation, infiltrated in every crack, until I built it stronger. What did not kill me, made me.  

Not only that, but you have searched with me, and inspired me to find this hobby which I enjoy; you embraced my art and inspired my paintings. In my newly discovered appetite, you have introduced me to literature. Inadvertently or cautiously orchestrated, your nature exhilarates my critical thinking.

Fundamentally however, you have nurtured my drive to pursue law in times when I neglected it. As a consequence, I earned the utmost privilege of addressing an audience of distinguished academics as well as judges of the International Court of Justice, at the Peace Palace in The Hague, and discuss with them the pronouncements of my LLB dissertation.

You believe in me. You told me on the bench that night, and now I see it in your mien. 

Now that I have chosen a path and found this programme which enthralls me, you chose to remain in that pillar, either fearlessly or in defiance of the potential impact it will have on you.

That night, I fell in love with you. And despite our profuse differences as partners, my feelings are not ephemeral. For life without you can never truly be whole, and my heart belongs to you wherever you are.

Yours,

R.

In light of the foregoing, quitting my job was indeed a time I took a great risk; writing this letter is another. But right now, I can only describe the outcome of the former.